How Do I Know You’re Real?

“How Do I Know You’re Real?”This is a question I’ve been repeatedly asked by those seeking my Pro-Domme services. Previously, I responded as if that were an insult–anyone who’d spent five minutes doing due diligence should know the answer!A few recent conversations caused me to reconsider my response.

I’ve been using computers since early childhood.  I started using the internet long before I got a driver’s license.  It can be easy to forget the technological generation gap.  Additionally, some novices may not know how to do their homework.

A few clients and potential clients have told me stories of women claiming to be professionals, whom collected deposits and then disappeared.  Of course, this offends me, both because it’s wrong, and because it makes establishing trust more difficult for legitimate Pro-Dommes.  I found a pattern in the things they either did not establish, or did not look for… if they did any research at all.

What follows here, is some advice on finding legitimate Professional Dominas:

1. Website

Does she have a website?  Is it an informative website, with facts about the Domme, her specialties, her sessions, her experience, etc…?

Can you see that her website has been up for a while?  Is it a free site, or one where she paid for hosting?


2. Where she advertises

Does she advertise on places that charge to advertise, or require an approval process?  Backpage is the most obvious place to mention, but some BDSM websites charge to be included and/or featured in the listings.  Click around to see how someone can become featured and/or listed on these sites, to discover if it involves things like an ad fee, a thorough application, references, or anything else that would discourage a scammer.

Some sites even show when someone’s account was created.

3. Social Sites

If she’s on social sites, has her profile been up for a while?  Was it created only recently?


4. Time

How long have her accounts been active?  How long has her email been active? How long has she been running ads?  Yes, even real Dominas may change these things for any number of genuine reasons, but if everything else seems sketchy, it looks like she created an identity two weeks ago, and she’s claiming to have been established for many years… she’s probably not real.

5. Tribute Amount

Is it within the range that other local Pro-Dommes are asking?  Yes, some people run specials, and others may have higher tribute amounts–especially if more disposable materials are used, like in some medical play and CD transformation scenes.  If the tribute seems extremely high compared to others in the area, see what kind of web presence the Domina has… she should have skills and reputation to match.  Also note if she is traveling, because many Dominas charge higher rates to cover their travel expenses, and/or absolutely require deposits.

If tribute seems like a remarkable bargain, be very cautious.


6. Reputation

Has she ever worked with any other Pro-Dommes?  Has she ever worked at a commercial dungeon?  Does she know any other Pro-Dommes? Even if they can’t vouch for her abilities, can they verify that they’ve heard of her, and perhaps disclose how long she’s been in the field?  Does she know anyone in the local BDSM scene?  Does she have knowledge of the scene in another area, if she relocated from elsewhere?

Some people are hermits, and may not socialize very much, but if someone is well-known by others, she’s more likely to be serious.


7. Blog

Does she blog anywhere?  You can get a better idea of her personality, as well as sincerity, by reading her blog.

8. Professionalism

Does she seem professional?  Not everyone has the same style, or same attitude, but does she appear to be centered, sincere and experienced?

3 thoughts on “How Do I Know You’re Real?”

  1. Hi, I got over to your page via Pinterest. Not a thing I normally read through, however I appreciate your ideas nevertheless. Many thanks for generating some thing worthy of reading!

  2. I’m so impressed with your blog posts… You are a very very well written in topics that matter…. Indeed thank you for sharing your thoughts in a positive an informative manner… Practical and worthwhile, any man or woman seeking a professional relationship with a Dominant, however that may defined, will see and be grateful for a woman who shows authenticity as you do. I am happy to call you a friend. Awesome website Mistress Genesis.

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